31 Voices of Prayer – Day 20

Day 20

Voice of Forgiveness

What is forgiveness? How can we obtain it or give it? We certainly need it, especially in our relationship to others.

During the past weeks I have been working through some tough forgiveness issues. I have been digging deep and have been helped through this time, by someone I shall call ‘ God’s Appointed Woman’, for such a time as this. My voice has been used to forgive others that have wronged me, some of those people are close family members. It has been wonderfully freeing to forgive, not necessarily speaking that forgiveness face to face, but certainly speaking forgiveness in prayer and declaration. Jesus calls me to forgive and so forgive I must, even if it has taken me years to come to that point. I fully believe that Jesus, through the work of His Holy Spirit, is patient and has been waiting for this exact moment in my life.

I have understood for years, that when I accepted Jesus as my  Lord and Saviour, forgiveness was freely given to me, I now fully realise I must not with hold forgiveness from others. I have been reading through a book by John and Carol Arnott*, about forgiving ourselves and others. They call forgiveness a gift. A gift to us but also to give to others, it is a priceless gift.

” And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive them, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses” Mark 11 v25 NKJV

Once I started on the path of forgiveness, the list of people seemed to grow, from the one or two to a whole handful,(or two !!). I think it began when I was at last willing to face things. I love what Carol Arnott said ” give the Holy Spirit permission to dig in the garden of your heart”*. Well, I have been overturning some big stones in the garden of my heart, with the help of the Holy Spirit. God’s heart for me is to bring me to a place of complete freedom and turning these stones has been timely.

In my work as a counsellor, I frequently find myself working with someone who faces unforgiveness or the need to forgive. I tell them that forgiveness is an act of will, and that it takes time to work through feelings and experience release. Unforgiveness hurts us more than it hurts the offender.

Forgiveness is willing to search for other solutions.

A choice for forgiveness, does not excuse self, defend self, or excuse another.

In forgiving, you might not forget what has been done to you , but the pain or sting of that memory will fade.

A forgiving heart brings good to yourself; ” the merciful person brings good to their own soul” ( Proverbs 11 v17)*

And to others; ” A word spoken in due season, how good it is” ( Proverbs 15 v 23 b)*

Love is at the centre of forgiveness  ” love covers a multitude of sins” (Proverbs 10 v12)*

Here is my small testimony of how forgiveness can change  relationships; – For most of my life I have been unable to hug or kiss my mother, because of the deep wrongs she did to me to when I was young, but only last week I found myself spontaneously giving her a warm hug before leaving from a visit to see her. It took me by surprise, as much as her, but it was a massive turning point in our, previously difficult relationship. This is what the power of forgiveness has done. My mother is in her 80’s now and time is short. Forgiveness is far-reaching. Thank you Lord for the priceless gift of forgiveness and it’s far-reaching effects. Amen.

Are you willing to take a step on the forgiveness path, you will benefit so much from it and so will others.

* Please read for more understanding of forgiveness:-  ” Grace and Forgiveness – Learning to give the gift of forgiveness to others and ourselves. by John and Carol Arnott.   Published by  Hodder and Stoughton Limited .

*Scriptures from NKJV

31 Voices of Prayer -Day 18

Day 18

A Conciliator’s Prayer

What exactly does a Conciliator do? Well , the dictionary tells us that to conciliate means to a) make calm and amenable; pacify, b) gain( esteem or goodwill) c) reconcile, make compatible.*

Today in my research about what a conciliator is and does, I came across a prayer. ‘A Conciliator’s prayer’.* A prayer that can be applied to us all in whatever situation of conflict, unrest, lack of peace, we might be involved with. It is too long a prayer to write here but I recall the impact of a few of the verses here. It is a prayer of two themes, on the one hand it is acknowledging God’s mighty ability, He is the supreme peacemaker, conciliator, reconciler and the individual recognition that a conciliator needs help,wisdom,supply, cleansing and filling to conciliate in the truest way.

‘Strip me of my own agenda and desires, so I might look only to others’ good and be absolutely worthy of their trust.’*

I am a trained counsellor, working with women who have suffered  of  baby loss. In my training we were taught not to bring our own agendas and desires into the counselling room. That has been something I have had to work at during my years of counselling support for mother’s suffering grief, to work at looking and listening for the good of another and so be worthy of their trust. This has happened very few times, but it usually occurs when I try to put myself in their shoes, walk through their grief with them. It is very humbling..It requires me to put myself aside , just for that time. I am called to help conciliate with the grief in a woman’s heart to aid and support her to a place of rest and peace.

‘Help me to model everything I teach, so others can see the way’*

If  we are able to be a living model of Jesus life, then it will be easier to show people the way, much like the light in the darkness, shows a path for our feet and those following us. It is not always words that show people the way, but our actions, our lifestyle. Let us be , what we preach.

‘Help me to model your forgiveness, so relationships are healed, and your Gospel revealed’*

Forgiveness, leads to healing,most of all within us first and then to those around us. It is difficult to truly forgive unless we forgive ourselves and love ourselves, as Christ loves us. I am learning more of his deep lesson of forgiveness at this present time and I am being transformed by the benefits of  forgiveness. Reconciliation is truly from God’s heart.

The Conciliator’s prayer ends with the words;

‘In short, Father, please give me the Spirit of Christ, so I might walk in His steps and guide your people into the path of peace.’*

My prayer is , Jesus lead me on, into your life, not mine, let your will be done in and through me’ Amen.

*For a full version of , ‘A Conciliator’s Prayer’ by Ken Sande, Founder of  Peacemaker Ministries, please go to;

http://www.cpt.org ( Christian Peacemakers Teams)